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The Night's Neon Fangs, by David W. Barbee
Ebook The Night's Neon Fangs, by David W. Barbee
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Presenting four novellas from bizarro author David W. Barbee, featuring electric werewolves, cyborg psychopaths, and a drunken ghost on a mission from God.
THE NIGHT'S NEON FANGS
On Christmas night, Buster Wade is cursed by the high voltage bite of an electric werewolf. With his life in shambles, he takes a job as the bodyguard for a grisly old miser looking to harness the bloodthirsty lightning coursing through his veins. Together, they travel a grotesque American monsterscape, sweeping up mummies that rain from the sky. Can Buster contain himself until he's able to end his curse? Or will he sink his sizzling neon fangs into everyone around him?
NOAH'S ARKOPOLIS
Noah's Ark never found land. The Lord God left him and all the animals alone on a planet of endless ocean. In the coming centuries, Noah's simple boat became Arkopolis, a floating city where Noah's human family and all the animals of the earth bred generations of mutant citizens. Now, that animal world is on the brink of war, and their only hope is the ghost of their righteous, noble, and falling-down-drunk founder, Noah.
THAT ULTIMO SUMBITCH
He roams the outback astride the meanest ostrich alive, a stone-cold killer with six-shooters for hands, on the hunt for wanted outlaws, reptiloid invaders, and scalp-hungry hippies. He has a name, but in this bionic, Bizarro western, they all call him that ultimo sumbitch.
BATCOP OUTTA HELL
All the people in Guano City are bats, and upholding the law are the crime-fighting batcops. But something is rotten in the caped crusaders' ranks. A slain officer has returned from the pits of Hell to take revenge for his family's unjust murder and rejoin the force. Now, the lovable misfits of Precinct 7 must help their fellow officer on his bloody rampage across Guano City, all for the glory of the Batdevil.
- Sales Rank: #1014318 in eBooks
- Published on: 2015-02-03
- Released on: 2015-02-03
- Format: Kindle eBook
Review
"In my worst nightmares, the werewolves have these glowing fangs. David Barbee takes that about twenty steps farther, in here. Now I've got new nightmares. Better nightmares." -Stephen Graham Jones, author of After the People Lights Have Gone Off "David Barbee is the nuclear Vincent Price of the information age--whispering odd-shaped narratives at us from the craziest corners you could ever get backed into. Smile in fear, bitches. And let the electric werewolves bite." -Brian Allen Carr, Wonderland award-winning author of Motherfucking Sharks "It's not the fact that an electric werewolf (read: neon fangs) exists taht makes this book a winner, it's the way Barbee uses that premise to construct a taut character study that is unsettling--but often times hilarious." -Ain't It Cool News
From the Inside Flap
"In my worst nightmares, the werewolves have these glowing fangs. David Barbee takes that about twenty steps farther, in here. Now I've got new nightmares. Better nightmares." -STEPHEN GRAHAM JONES, author of After the People Lights Have Gone Off
"David Barbee is the nuclear Vincent Price of the information age--whispering odd-shaped narratives at us from the craziest corners you could ever get backed into. Smile in fear, bitches. And let the electric werewolves bite." -BRIAN ALLEN CARR, Wonderland award-winning author of Motherfucking Sharks "Eraserhead Press [is] a hidden trove of entertaining fiction that in this day and age, does what a lot of books can't: out-weird what's happening on the six o'clock news. If you're going to start somewhere, you can't do much better than THE NIGHT'S NEON FANGS." -AIN'T IT COOL NEWS "This is a whole lot of dark, twisted bizarro packedinto a single slim volume. It's like a can of orange juice concentrate - strong,potent, and brain-puckeringly powerful... Each of the four [stories] is its ownunique wallop of weirdness." -HORROR FICTION REVIEW "The Night's Neon Fangs is an enigma shrouded in colorful candy wrapper with a fleeting and intangible meaning... It's bleak, but it's oddly deep and moving." -DEAD END FOLLIES
From the Back Cover
THE NIGHT'S NEON FANGSOn Christmas night, Buster Wade is cursed by the high voltage bite of an electric werewolf. With his life in shambles, he takes a job as the bodyguard for a grisly old miser looking to harness the bloodthirsty lightning coursing through his veins. Together, they travel a grotesque American monsterscape, sweeping up mummies that rain from the sky. Can Buster contain himself until he's able to end his curse? Or will he sink his sizzling neon fangs into everyone around him? NOAH'S ARKOPOLISNoah's Ark never found land. The Lord God left him and all the animals alone on a planet of endless ocean. In the coming centuries, Noah's simple boat became Arkopolis, a floating city where Noah's human family and all the animals of the earth bred generations of mutant citizens. Now, that animal world is on the brink of war, and their only hope is the ghost of their righteous, noble, and falling-down-drunk founder, Noah. THAT ULTIMO SUMBITCHHe roams the outback astride the meanest ostrich alive, a stone-cold killer with six-shooters for hands, on the hunt for wanted outlaws, reptiloid invaders, and scalp-hungry hippies. He has a name, but in this bionic, Bizarro western, they all call him that ultimo sumbitch. BATCOP OUTTA HELLAll the people in Guano City are bats, and upholding the law are the crime-fighting batcops. But something is rotten in the caped crusaders' ranks. A slain officer has returned from the pits of Hell to take revenge for his family's unjust murder and rejoin the force. Now, the lovable misfits of Precinct 7 must help their fellow officer on his bloody rampage across Guano City, all for the glory of the Batdevil.
Most helpful customer reviews
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Pulpy, action-packed weirdness...
By Amazon Customer
Normally when reading an author for the first time I try to start with his or her first book. But I’m sick of being 17 years behind everything most of the time. So in reading David Barbee for the first time, I decided to start with his latest, The Night's Neon Fangs.
Pulpy, action-packed weirdness abounds in this entertaining collection of four novellas. Barbee does a fine job at creating sympathetic protagonists who find themselves in difficult fixes if not full-on damnation. In many ways, these characters and their dilemmas are conventional fare. But the devil is in the details (or the Batdevil, I should say, though I’m getting a little ahead of myself.) For example, the novella “BATCOP OUTTA HELL” tells the story of a cop who must avenge his murdered family. In its distilled essence, such a story sounds familiar and archetypal enough, clichéd even. But this avenging cop is not your garden variety avenging cop. Nay, he’s a batcop hailing from a batcity in a batuniverse, and he gets murdered and brought back to life as a batdemon after making a deal with the Batdevil in Hell. Similarly, the titular novella “THE NIGHT'S NEON FANGS” features an unwilling werewolf who seeks to free himself of his curse. But this unwilling werewolf is no ordinary werewolf: He’s an electric werewolf. And not only is he an electric werewolf, but he lives in a world where mummies rain down from the skies, consequently a world where big money is made in the “mummysweeping” business.
Barbee’s well-wrought prose is lean but descriptive where it needs to be. He grabs the right words without ever being wordy. The dialogue in his stories is crisp and natural. He utilizes backstory effectively, giving the reader just the right amount without info dumping. Taken together, these four novellas sit comfortably next to one another, collectively offering readers an experience that includes elements of horror, crime fiction, sci-fi, humor, and the western genres, all bathed in the bizarre.
Great stuff. I look forward to reading more from Barbee.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
This book was everything i love about Bizzaro
By david Bridges
This book was everything i love about Bizzaro. I enjoyed all four stories but my favorites were the one about drunken Noah and the robot outlaw epic. Highly entertaining stuff! If that's what you want is to simply be entertained by a creative form of fantasy writing then read this book. I will definitely check out more Barbee.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Four bizarro novellas in one book!
By Matthew Vaughn
David Barbee has done it again! His newest offering, Nights Neon Fangs, contains four novellas cram-packed full of great characters, settings, and adventures. I knew David was a very talented writer from his previous work, but NNF's just proves he's getting better and better.
The book kicks off with the title story, Nights Neon Fangs. This is the story of Buster Wade, who on Christmas night was bitten by an electric werewolf. Yes, an electric werewolf, tell me that's not the coolest thing ever. Barbee could have just gone from there and wrote a standard werewolf story, and I'm sure it would have been great. But, he takes it further by creating a whole new world, where an ancient Pharaoh has cursed the world to endure a massive storm cloud that rains down mummies, where vampire cows are raised to help maintain America's blood supply, and there's a popular musician that is animated red jell-o named Jellostein.
Next we have Noah's Arkopolis. Here we have a re-imagining of the events from the bible where Noah was told to build an ark and gather up two of every creature as the world flooded. Only, in Barbee's story, Noah's ark never saw land, and the world stayed completely under water. Over time the ark was converted into Arkopolis, and all the animals and people breed together creating new species. This was my second favorite story of the four, as it showcases Barbee’s great sense of humor along with his wild imagination.
The story that Ultimo Sumbitch is a futuristic western, where reptilian aliens have invaded and forced the humans out of the cities. That Ultimo Sumbitch himself is a merciless killer, with six shooters for hands, who wanders around killing for money.
The last story, Bat Cop out of Hell is another unique take on a familiar premise. A revenge story that follows a batcop who is brought back from the dead by the batdevil to avenge his murdered family. It's an entire bat world, filled with many different bat characters, where our resurrected batcop tries to solve the mystery of what happened to him and his batfamily.
The thing I like the most about this collection is each story takes place in a new and interesting world. Barbee is great at creating these unique settings and filling them with crazy characters and exciting plots. Barbee seems to have no shortage of wild and crazy ideas, and I for one am excited by that. He has become one of my favorite writers in the bizarro genre.
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